Jokes, Gags, Pranks and Annoyances

Post funny stuff here.

Mental Hospital Hotline

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

- If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

- If you are co dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

- If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

- If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

- If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

- If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

- If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

- If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

- If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

- If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

- If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

- If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

- If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

- If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.

- If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't be crazy forever.

- If you are a blonde, don't press any buttons - you'll just mess it up."

Quote :

- If you are a blonde, don't press any buttons - you'll just mess it up."

I laughed at all of them, but this one was by far the best.

*presses buttons* 3, 4, 5, 6

Joke: How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: 3! One to hold the light bulb and 2 to spin the table.

From this Hetalia Scanlation: http://community.livejournal.com/hetalia/510172.html